crumbling world.

my world is starting to crumble
i feel like screaming, but all i can do is mumble
its not like anyone is listening anyway
no one cares
i ask for help, in return i get stares/stairs
so i climb till i get to the top
i look down, close my eyes, and beging to drop
for once in my life i feel liberated
i start to think of her and i feel sedated
i wonder if i’ll ever get out of this mess
in the pit of my stomach is the feeling of stress
not sure what to do
should i take the easy way out??
pop a few pills, chase it with a guiness stout
slice my jugular vein, to numb the pain
life was all sunshine, but now im stuck in the rain…..

i died.

i died listening to Jimi Hendrix ‘Hey Joe’
i died but why i just dont know
shortness of breath
heart beating against chest like a caged being being attacked by fate
i died
with a pen in my hand
notebook resting on the bed next to me
like a new born baby having his first dream
i died
eyes open like that brand new cut on her wrist
i died
staring into the sun, watching it wink at me and blow me a kiss
as my tongue escaped my mouth and hide in my throat
i died
watching the sun turn white and get closer, bigger
until it consumes me, turning me into nothing more
then an afterthought
a faded memory
i am now nothing more then words on a crumbled up page
in a garbage bag at the back of a garbage truck
i died
feeling my arm go numb like the mind of a woman being raped
like a junkie making his first escape
i died
while the room im in dances like a tornado wearing a tu-tu
i died as my soul fights with my shadow
i died alone listening to jimi hendrix ‘hey joe’

black sky.

the black sky bleeds
rain drops of a unknown, unexplored, unexplained pain
bringing life to a world we have turned our scarred backs on
a world we pop pills, pop veins trying to erase
while some of us eat pop corn, listen to pop music, pop birthday balloons because pops forgot to show up
the black sky bleeds
causing flowers to stand like a soldier trained to kill innocent people for a natural resource
making grass green with envy watching the birds fly free while getting shitted on, pissed on, walked on, stabbed, cut
like the backs of slaves
like the wrists of kids who got sick of screaming ‘help’ into the ears of deaf parents
leaveless trees barracade a cloud
blocking the suns view as the moon
slowly creeps away holding a star
which he throws into the sun causing it to explode
and send rays into a window
waking the elderly widow who was dreaming of rainbows and arrows..
birds whistle, cats purr, as they witness the birth of morning
the blue sky bleeds

JOURN(al)Y

i feel like (hip) hopping over the (know)ledge and free(style) falling into a poets notebook..trap me in that notebook, take me with you on that train (of thought) going to the shore so i can surf the (brain) waves that flow like a tsunami.. i want to write my name on every single rock and roll them down hills i want people to know i was there, i’ll write my name followed by ‘was here’..i will carve my name in the poet tree that is used to sun block (parties) so you can rest in the shade, sip your long island ice tea, listen to boogie down productions with your feet in the brook(lyn) while your queen has another man hat in her hand.. i will stand like a hitchhiker on the side of the road all day and night until i pass out.. pieces of my soul to at least one passer by i want to reach the mind of that bum that talks so much jazz, someone beat(box)s him black and blues.. i want to tell him there is an alternative to living life without ‘breaking’ rules and searching for the next ‘fix’.. i want to tell mother nature to stop wasting food and feeding lies to her kids.. i want to tell father time to STOP.

my name is SHAWN.

my name is SHAWN.  i wash dishes w/ dawn.
i may be skinny but my rhymes have brawn.
i likes to get it on, ’til the break of dawn.
i once saw a fawn on my lawn eating prawn.
i get my money withdrawn at chase.
some say im a disgrace. i punch dudes in the face.
fucked you up now you need a knee brace and a tooth replaced.
when i say ‘boo’ you end up in deep space.
your girlfriend grace, sprayed my face w/ mace
but im immune so i popped her sons balloon.
went to a saloon around noon in june.
ate ice cream the same color as the moon w/ a spoon.
i left w/ a beer. dont yell in my ear. the consequences will be severe.
ill stab you w/ a sphere, take your gear, and the ring out your ear.
when i come near better run, disappear.
we’re the best in the atmosphere.
wait, theres no we only i.
punch you in the eye, make you cry, wanna die.
its you i decry. w/ rules i never comply.
i much rather defy. until the day i
d-i-e, yes i used to be in a spelling bee.
cant wait to go to college and get my degree.
cant wait to have my name on a marquee.
and people wait in line drinking marsh tea.
after the show they leave w/ glee.
talking about im the best in history.
where did all the rappers go? thats a mystery.
sleeping w/ the fishes at the bottom of the sea, perhaps.
i always write my name is all caps.
when it comes to rhyming theres never a lapse.
i watched the rap scene collapse.
while drinking schnappes, playing craps w/ the japs.
until you lost the dice. now you pay the price.
entice nyce to slice you twice w/ a device.
and dump you in the drift ice.
now you’ll think twice before ruining a game.

fight naps.

write raps. fight naps. dont dare sleep. nightmares creep when sun dies. tears run from eyes. leaving them dry. reality punches your face in. make you wanna hide like, being chased by jason. through crystal lake. no escaping. no red cape to save the day. alone in a world of clones. hurled stones at glass homes w/ notes attached. ’shouldnt live in glass houses’. fragile fairy tales. grabbing fairies by the tails. throwing them across rivers of conscienceness. just to watch them skip. just to watch them skip. just to watch them skip. like used records. abuse obtuse nerds. like high school transfers. changing scenes. arranging dreams. exchanging cream for drugs. self esteem lacking. i’m black belt smacking. leave you stiff like a mannequin. ripping your heart out. youre heartless like the man of tin. the wizard cant save you. spirit takes flight son. the blizzards got me sliding through stop signs. w/ brake lights on. watch the world disappear. crystal clear. chandelier. puppeteer kayaking through clouds. mountaineer. souvenir hearts on strings. being ripped apart, dipped in paint. splattered on walls as art. depression displayed  in disarray. dismayed. rode away in a cabriolet. swerving. thinking. in deep thought. sleep fought. seems to be winning. starting to see sheep hopping over fences grinning. surfing electromagnetic waves. wiped out. plunging. sending ripples through time. transcending limits of mind. and its functions.  swimming w/ sharks buddy. ackerman. anchorman. slash custodian. dirty old man holding utopian doctrines. not vocalizing. earth in the presence of shadows. no hope arising on the horizon. no syllogizing. killing violence w/ violins. but cant hear over sirens blaring. staring death in the face w/ a grin. on a day  to day basis. the reaper is not an ageist. from old folks to young kids w/ braces. permanent termination occurs in all different stages. from champ to chump. tramp to trump. life is not like a box of chocolates forest gump. life is a light bulb. filament getting thinner every day. im being a dummy. im no philosopher. more like gumby. heart is made of clay. handing out pieces like ‘here throw this away’. i listen. rain drops bouncing off train tops. world glistens and the pain stops. whenever deaths cousin creeps. regain conscienceness w/ the caffiene brigade.  in a cafe writing raps. fighting naps. dont dare sleep.